True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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