The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
