You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thus making me awesome and them whores
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
