My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
