hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
