Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
