Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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