i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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