I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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