he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
