Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
