Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
