Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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