I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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