therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
