it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pants are for mortals
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
