How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
