I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
