their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
