i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
