how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have post one night stand depression
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