these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
