i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
