There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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