i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do vagina's smell?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
