Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
