There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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