My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
