You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
