Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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