New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
