that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
