Can Purell be used as lube?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
