Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
