I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
