Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
