I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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