PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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