Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My vagina is very pro this idea
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize