I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
