I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
