if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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