You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
