A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
