Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
