A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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