erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
