She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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