my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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