Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
