areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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